Since starting hormones things have certainly been crazy but despite that I’m still keeping up with weekly photographs for the project at the core of this blog.
For those who’ve missed it, I’m taking a self portrait each week of me topless over the course of 52 weeks documenting the changes hormones have on my body. The result will be a book that will give people an insight into the stage in a transition that becomes an important landmark for a large proportion of transsexuals who transition. It should be noted, of course, that some never go onto hormone therapy, and for others the target is the final surgery.
For a lot, however, it’s the changes made by hormones that provide the biggest step in their transition as it has the most dramatic effect on the appearance on their body.
This week the hormones have definitely been making an effect, I’ve noticed my chest has gotten softer but hasn’t started to grow – which was interesting because I wasn’t sure how the changes would actually work – but now I’m sure there is the starting of growth, but more telling my chest is slightly sore. This is something I expected and it definitely feels like a landmark and at the moment isn’t causing any real problems even in bed.
Although, in combination with my latest piercing – a second rook – it does mean if I move to the wrong position in bed I do get discomfort to remind me and make me reposition. I am now up to 9 piercings that I use ( my original two, poorly pierced lobe piercings have been abandoned and one has healed up) all pierced by a superb piercer who does a fantastic job. I am hoping to hit double figures soon with a Tragus on the other side to my rooks – that’s going to be interesting to sleep with but will be well worth it.
Up to now it’s been a case of ‘ooo is that different’ but never being 100% sure, this time I’m absolutely certain that the discomfort, and my emotional instability, have been caused by the hormones and definitely feels like progress. Still a long journey ahead, but any signs of progress are good for morale.
I’ve also just started a new job at around 3 weeks notice which has added to the craziness but means financially I’m going to be better off for a few months. It’s a 6 months secondment which does mean potentially going back to my old job, but on the positive side it does show that it’s possible for transsexual people to be employed on merit.
And I think that is the important message, don’t give up when your applying and always try to get feedback. It’s easy to get disenchanted when applying for jobs, but the fact is a lot of people apply – I firmly believe that most employers WILL employ transpeople but you have to, like everyone else, get your application right.
It took me 2 years, a lot of applications, and taking all the feedback possible – as well as 4 successive successful interviews where someone else interviewed narrowly better (in all cases absolutely no doubt that it was purely down to their better performance on the day) – I can understand people putting failure down to being trans.. however while I’m sure there are instances where this is the case.. I firmly believe, having worked in a variety of situations – including with children, that in the majority of cases a transpersons failure to get a position is purely down to simple application or interview ‘failure’ rather than being trans.
In short – take feedback on board, keep fighting and if your looking for work – good luck and don’t give up!!
Remember it’s quality that counts.. spamming poorly thought out or constructed applications will not succeed, it’s better to take your time over them and focus each application properly.