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All posts for the month September, 2014

Week 32 – Day 2 : So you think you can tell….

Published September 30, 2014 by Katier Scott

One of my favourite songs, with a great opening line and the latest song I’ve covered at an open Mic with help from a very good friend.

But the reason I decided to open with such an iconic line is because the background to this song can easily be how Transexuals can feel and the struggles they feel. As David Gilmour tells us in his interview from 2011 just how much of a struggle Pink Floyd faced to get the album done.. We face similar struggles, alienation and loneliness are very common and many of us face depression to some degree.

I love music and for me the thing that grabs me about songs is the story behind them or the story they are telling. Man in the Mirror by Michael Jackson is another example, but in this case there’s just something about wish you were here that resonates and hence I decided to open this weeks blog with it.

This week has been as hectic as ever and if anything I hope this blog will inspire other Transsexuals, or even other people who are going through their own internal struggles, the fight and try to live life to the full. Go out with confidence and you’ll find that the wide world out there is surprisingly not as prejudiced as you might think. I just do what I want to do, and get on with it.. and haven’t yet gone somewhere and thought “Damn that was bad..”.

For those who’ve missed it previously the list of things I’ve done without problems include :-

  • Charity work including looking after young children in a creche style environment and teaching 5-7 year olds.
  • Helping run market stalls and car boots.
  • Doing a degree at University (which was the trigger that gave me the confidence)
  • I’m currently working at the same University in a customer facing role.
  • Worked with people with disabilities.
  • Crewed at LARP events.
  • Helped setup NEC exhibitions.
  • Taken part in Open-Mic’s
  • Done motorsport Marshalling

and never once can I say that I’ve gone there and met any noticeable degree of transphobia.. sure on isolated cases there have been one off problems but I wouldn’t even say I needed a thick skin to cope as it’s that infrequent it’s not a problem.

So as I’ve said before just be yourself and remember your a normal human being, walk with confidence and just enjoy life – if you think “I want to try that” – well go and try it!!

On the job front I’ve still not got promotion at work, however I did have probably my best interview ever. It sounds from my feedback that I gave them a real headache and the only thing they could split us on was the fact I hadn’t thought in enough depth about where I saw the role going in the next few months. Overall if anything I interviewed better than the candidate who got the job, just failed to think far enough into the future – which is a shame.. but given the job was for a supervisor and I felt I was pushing my luck a bit with the application I am more than happy to know I CAN get to that level.

Unfortunately the interview meant I’ve had to delay my next Gender Clinic appointment but I have a doctors appointment tomorrow to check the hormone levels.

So to refer back to the opening line and the song and move down to the end of the track..

“We’re just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground. ”

Look out from that fishbowl.. look at something you really fancy doing.. and DO IT!!

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Week 31 – Special Post – What do I have to do?

Published September 26, 2014 by Katier Scott

Yep you’ve guessed it.. I STILL haven’t managed to get promotion at work. Of all the posts I’ve applied for I’ve had ONE success and that was a secondment!

Everyone knows I’ve got the skills for positions above my current pay level and the support is there from colleagues etc. (either that or they are damned good actors) but I simply don’t seem to be able to get a break.

I’m sorry for a bit of a rant in here.. but I guess the point is that it’s tough for everyone but I’m not going to give up.

Somehow I’m failing at interview stage and I simply don’t know why. BUT for all those TS people out there, I’m convinced it’s not anything to do with me being Transsexual.. I’m simply missing that little edge in the interviews.. but I don’t know what it is :(.

I got good feedback, which is VITAL for interviews and hopefully I’ll be able to turn it around on Monday.. but boy is that going to be challenging – it’s quite a high level post within the place I work.. but I know I’ve got the skills for it.. just gotta try to put the tips into actions..

If anyone has any interview tips though I’d welcome them!

Week 31 Day 2 – Fighting hard on the job front.

Published September 24, 2014 by Katier Scott

Well had the first of 3 interviews last week with two more lined up, one this week and one next. Unfortunately I failed to get the first job, which was effectively my ‘backup’ choice but I’m feeling surprisingly confident about the remaining two.

I’ll try not to be over confident but I think that failure gave me a huge kick that I needed to get my head in gear and refocused. I think I got a mix of over-confident and too focused on previous failures causing me to loose focus on the job in hand. The two roles that are left I see as interesting, exciting and great experience that play to my strengths. The second came as a surprise as the grade of the post is quite high but I know I have the skills for the job so will be doing everything I can to focus on the interview and aim for success.

The third interview has meant I’ve re-scheduled a GIC appointment but I think it’s reflective of where my mind and how good Sheffield Gender Clinic is that I was happy to reschedule and able to delay things by barely 4 weeks – most GIC’s in the UK couldn’t have done that!!

I have another blood test at the end of this week to check hormone levels, hopefully there won’t be any changes. I still need to get testosterone blockers sorted but that has been delayed by the GIC appointment but currently moving career is more important as the stress in my life is coming more from money than the GIC progression – simply because I’m comfortable with Sheffield and that we’ll get to where I need to be with my transition in a respectable time-frame.

If I was still at Charing Cross I wouldn’t be nearly so comfortable so that good.

Anyway my life is still crazy as ever, I have a new flat mate and busy most weekends with marshaling which I’m really enjoying. Hopefully have good news next week – it’s about time I moved on with my career.

Week 30 – Day 2 – This is a short year!!

Published September 16, 2014 by Katier Scott

I really can’t believe it’s week 30 of this crazy project AND that I’ve kept it going. I know I say that a lot but I’ve never managed to keep something like this going for so long.

I had an amazing weekend at LARP although I was probably the most worn out ever at the end of it. I pulled 30+ hours of crew work and full days of roleplay and enjoyed it all.. but boy was it tough.

Perhaps the most interesting part of the event, however, was related to a conversation I had with one of the LARPers about transition and this blog. Up to now the blog has had content either general in nature or from my point of view, which of course is the view of a transwoman.

Roughly 50% of all transsexual’s/gender dysphoric’s are transmen and they will face different problems and challenges. I imagine, although this is only a guess, for example they suffer the same ‘misgendering’ transwomen get BUT for a different reason. People probably just assume they are tomboy’s and thus female.

As such I intend to have a natter with a male friend and find out the challenges he is faced with, with a view to doing a post or two about the FtM side of transitioning  as it’s rightly important to me that this blog helps everyone.

Perhaps the highlight progress wise for me was going bra-less. I felt I had enough boob that I could go without a bra and fill out my kit (which works better without a bra) enough to work properly and look right. Was a right confidence boost as it felt right although I did keep checking for wardrobe malfunctions!!!

Anyway next week sees another job interview, two visits to hospitals and then interviews and blood tests the week after.. I’m busy.. yey me!!

Week 29 – Day 3: The week to forget!

Published September 10, 2014 by Katier Scott

After a great summer the last week hasn’t been great. Nothing but hassle and problems with the only light at the end of the tunnel being a new flat mate.

I didn’t get the job I applied for which sucked, and in combination with a flat mate taking liberties I am left struggling for money and feeling quite depressed. 

Things picked up a bit yesterday and I now have two more job interviews to go for, although I’m not feeling too confident about them as I seem to miss out on points I simply would never have thought about or by narrow margins which is immensely frustrating. 

I was going to do a bit about clothes and general appearance type stuff but as I’ve been busy and stressed that’s fallen by the wayside and instead you’ve got this short post as I rush around packing to go for a break.

Speaking of breaks, no letting up there!! I’m still running flat out, which probably didn’t help with the stress last week, there is only so long someone can go with a massively busy lifestyle before they feel the pressure and crack!!

Last weekend was my first time doing the start line as a Marshall which was amazing fun and challenging, and I’m planning on being back doing that on the 27th. 21st I’m planning on Donington and then back there again on 4th/5th which might be my first ever overnighter!!

Overall I can’t complain, but life’s never smooth and these bumps are just there to keep us on our toes!

Anyway, bit of a ramble this week, hopefully next week will be a good one. 

Week 28, Day 2 – Not stressed.. for some reason!

Published September 2, 2014 by Katier Scott

*Just inside day 2 of this week and still plodding on. 

Right now I’m in a weird place, overall this year has been fantastic but September is shaping up to be less than ideal yet I’m not particularly stressed. For nearly two years I’ve been working hard on trying to get promotion at work and on many occasions someone else has just pipped me to the post. This happened again last Friday yet amazingly I was quite chilled about it. 

I have another interview lined up which I’m really hoping will turn into success as I really need the finances as my flat mate is moving out which means September isn’t exactly a clean run when it comes to money.

I’m keeping busy, however, and am working on my youtube channel to keep myself busy, alongside a healthy social life and marshalling on weekends.  

Transition wise I have my latest appointment at the end of this month and am hoping to make progress regarding planning surgery sooner rather than later.

So as I’m running out of things to say off my own back, I really could do with some questions, comments or people asking advice.