Look at the ‘pathway’ for transitioning and it feels and looks like your being asked to jump through hoops and tick boxes to transition.. well that’s not exactly the case – so I realised after my Gender Clinic appointment on Monday.
You see there are two sides to transition, the physical side – and the living side. You could argue there’s also the mental side but look after the first two, and the third should look after itself. The reason for the perception of the need to jump through hoops is the fact you can’t do the physical side, without doing the living side alongside it – for the simple reason you can’t transition if you don’t look after the living side.
In other words, if you won’t/don’t live as the correct gender, and just get on with life – essentially the clinic can’t help you. Why not? Because they only actually deal with the physical side, if your actually finding the physical limitations – and you can’t do that if your not actually living.
Ok some of the physical limitations are kinda obvious, but they aren’t as important – especially initially – as they appear, because first you simply need to live, in order to find them.
My physical limitations list is small, and I bet most peoples will be similar and while very important, equally small.
- Genitals – hampering relationships, sunbathing and the ability to go swimming with confidence.
- Body hair – my T levels are still too high and this makes things a pain, it’s a minor limitation in the grand scheme of things, but one the clinic can help with, with T-blockers.
- Boobs – Swimming and sunbathing and just the mental pleasure of having them!
- Hair – I have to wear a wig, once the T-issue is sorted I’m hoping enough will return to allow me to go wigless.
All of this is definitely restrictions and frustrations but doesn’t stop my day-to-day life and as long as some progress is being made on that, the pace, while important, isn’t massively urgent.
So what’s the point of all this wittering on and what was the lightbulb moment.
Well I wont’ tell you all that was said in the meeting because I feel some of it you NEED to understand yourself by realising it yourself, but it’s not something to trip you up – it’s simply you suddenly realising what they need to see from you. It’s a two way process and you need to do the bulk of the transitioning work, they are just there to help out.
The one thing I will say, which was part of this lightbulb moment, was I mentioned I’d re-booked the appointment with her because I had a job interview. The fact I put life ahead of the clinic was important to her from the point of view of being happy that I was fully living my female life.
So the outcome of the appointment seemed very positive, I also had a blood test and hoping I can hurry through the T-blockers because that is my biggest frustration at the moment.
I have my next appointment Monday and the ideal outcome for me would be to get the T-blockers sorted and possibly surgery referral. The latter is less likely, simply because they’ll probably have some steps they want to take, but the fewer trips I make to the clinic the better!!
Anyway, back up to sensible posts related to transitioning.. what HAS this blog come to!