Bit late this week because I’ve been busy, forgot it was a landmark week and wasn’t sure about what to write about, it’s been quite quiet, no job interviews to talk about but I think the first thing is a bit of a project update.
My initial intent was to run the project for a single year, however due in part to the fact I’m not on testoserone blockers I feel the changes are slightly too slow to fit into one year. Therefore I think I’ll probably aim for 18 months and/or up to the surgery point which means the book may include a pair of shots which weren’t intended initially – but I think for the purpose of the project are needed.
I have asked a photographer friend if she will do a pair of full nude shots of me, one prior to surgery, one after surgery. For a transexual that’s a huge thing, but for the project, and to fully document it – at the very least I feel the photo’s need taking. As an artist friend of mine said, if I don’t, then I’ll have missed the chance, if I do then I can at least decide whether to include them.
I have also agreed to do a reading at a local Carol Service in front of a full audience, I’m not religious but it’s a service run by where I work so quite an honor to be asked – so I’m not going to refuse. I’ve done presentations in front of large audiences before, so am certain I’ll be fine – but it’s a nervy prospect non-the-less.
Heck, what do I wear?!!!
Speaking of wearing, there was an interesting post on a group I’m part of where someone questioned the need for RLE prior to treatment, effectively asking “Why should a transwoman dress as a woman, when they are not a TV or CD.” The mistake she was making, of course, was that if your suffering from Gender Dysphoria then your not a man ( talking MtF of course), your a female!!
So dressing in a female style, look and feel is entirely natural and in fact, dressing in a male style could be considered cross-dressing.
So I guess I did figure something to talk about and more interestingly I’ve just had a conversation with a photographer friend of mine.
I asked her if she’d do the nude shots for me.. but her response was spot on – “Your a photographer”.. Yes I’m a photographer but I was doubting my abilities.. which shows even someone who’s blog mentions self confidence and getting on with life a fair bit.. can have lapses.
Especially when I can pull off shots like below, a self portrait which I took several years ago deliberately designed to be very anonymous when it came to gender because it was me, knowing I’m a lady, with a badly shaped body!!