Week 55 – Day 5 – First low motivation week.

Published March 13, 2015 by Katier Scott

When I started this project some people, including me, didn’t expect me to get it as far as it has. So to be into the second year is, in my opinion, a brilliant achievement. I’ve even managed to not miss a single week and don’t plan on.

However we all have low points in projects and I’ve had that much on this week actually sitting and motivating myself to write – and even work out what to write, has proved to be tough.

I am feeling a lot better in myself now I haven’t got the stress of my flat mate around, and things are progressing with my second job – although just to slow things down a bit DBS managed to mess up my check by mis-spelling my middle name!! So that’s going to delay getting cleared to work a few weeks which is unfortunate, and not ideal as it means my parents will be helping me out for another month – but these things are sent to test us and I’ll cope.

The main reason for the motivation hit was the second job, I’ve had training with my other job this week alongside my main job and simply been so busy and tired it’s hard to fit things in and think about what to write.

Right now doing a lot of ‘sorting this and that’ – tying up bits I need to and generally simply getting on with life. Almost finished my Occ-Health form for nursing and waiting on GP to sort her version of same.

Really enjoying Roller Derby, off there tonight and can’t wait, but also getting on with my singing. My friend who plays guitar for me has started to nudge me to work on me playing and singing a song, up to now I simply haven’t had the confidence or ability to do it. But I think we’ve found a song I can manage and that will be kinda cool to do. I’m also working on finishing off learning Everybody Hurts by REM. It’s actually the first song I learnt some of but it contains dreaded bar chords after the second chorus which is something I’m struggling with. Once I can do the bar chords ‘adequately’ we’ll then flip the end of the set round so I start playing bits as well as singing or with my friend singing.

But I think this post really shows I am where every Gender Dysphoric tries to be just another lady in a big town getting on with life!! I still have things I need to sort with the GD, and have appointments over the next two weeks to move that forward, but ultimately as long as there is progress on the treatment front I’m in a good enough place to simply enjoy life.

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